what do you do when you find that you have lost yourself? when there is no identity, no sense of purpose. it seems as if the world is floating by right before your eyes and you are overwhelmed by the realisation that you are but a spectator not a participant. its almost like living dead. its no wonder zombies choose to make it their purpose to devour humans. being so full of things to say till its bursting and wishing there was someone to listen yet not wanting to have to say it to someone. often its easy to suppress emotions. like flipping a switch. on off on off on off. it makes it but a simple matter to convince yourself that everything will work out. after all they always have- and without that much effort. but what happens when that switch fails and cannot be turned off? when the reality that you may be slipping down a path that isn't favourable and you have no grip whatsoever sinks in. it eats at you from the inside but at the same time reinforces the emotionless shell thats the image everyone sees.
if a certain someone reads this, this is part of the reason i don't like to talk about myself. its probably part of the reason that i may look so cold and have nothing to say often. but i guess i have to find myself first before i can do anything else. but how to i do that?