this post is solely dedicated to a very good friend of mine becky soh bi qing. haha
glad to have known her these past four years. she has made life alot more interesting and fun. in the past very emo but now im glad she is happy and able to be emotionally more independent. also a smart girl in MJC and one who is as passionate about soccer! haha. hope you will do very well in studies and in soccer ah!
anyway now you are 17 liao. hope you will get to realise your dreams and ambitions in the coming future and that life will be good to you.hope that you will be happy for as often as possible and that you will always have a stupid smile :D
well all the best to you and HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! know you like 11 so :)

there are different kind of leaders in this world. those who are inspirational. those who lead through fear. and those who lead by example. just to name a few.
well if a leader is inspirational well good. if one leads through fear i have nothing to say. but i think the hardest of all is leading by example. the pressure is even greater and expectation to pull something spectacular even when the rest are not performing at times may be overwhelming. and probably the worst of all is at times no one can truly understand how you are feeling.
well, i'm glad to have a captain who is trying his best to lead well and by example. one who was elected simply because he was and is still the best among us. i can see how hard he is trying to keep everyone happy, at the same time trying to have respectable standards of discipline, at the same time trying to make trainings fun, at the same time bringing us to a higher level in our play at while managing all that keeping up the level of his play practically every time. for that i respect him. i hope that he will be able to bring us to higher levels.
and this post goes out to all those out there who are struggling to lead while managing every other aspect of their daily lives. i am sure that despite the pressure and burdens you will manage to pull through to bring your respective teams to greater heights! just aim to be the best you possibly can and people will respect you.. you are captain not because of chance or luck but for a purpose. there has to be something about you that makes you fit to be captain and so don't ever doubt yourself. fo your best and leave the rest to, well if you believe in God, God or fate if you like it. i'm certain you can do it!:D
oh by the way before i forget, i like to thank the ex-floorball captain for putting in his best and doing his best every time despite the immense pressure on his shoulders. besides, i respect him for passing the armband on when he felt it better for the team. there is a saying that was published in a magazine recently.
"Great leaders are not great because they know what to do. They are great because they know when to quit." thanks for being great leader.
ps: this is not asking anyone to quit. this is more for a specific case.:)

well today had match. well sort of anyway. ended up on a lousy muddy field and only 6 a side. but we had fun. anyway im really sorry for holding back. i knew i was holding back but i just couldnt get started. maybe thats the case when you know you are injured. wish i could be like zhiwei who said play through it and make it part of you. but i guess the fear causing a more serious injury or something like that was very present and i just couldnt give my best. well hope to get well soon because i really need a lot to work on especially my tackling. zzz.

hey sorry if my previous post sounded abit wrong. i really thank all those who have made this birthday memorable for it :D

well, today for me is in most people's calendars is supposed to be a day to celebrate and enjoy. well i went to sleep early last night because i was too tired. well this morning when i woke, i saw four msges wishing me. i thank the four who bothered to especially sophia though i dont see you often. xin kai then mummy and bro sent me and later jermaine:) thanks alot guys:) means a lot to me:) of course a long the day there were others who did like jack just a while ago. really appreciate it:)
well had an alright day. highlight was eating with bros zhi wei hg and xin kai and becky:) (yup becky is a bro too) had fun talking and crapping and playing winning eleven. funny was when the bill came and i was worried for a moment that we did not have enough money. anyway today was my first time eating in swensens so u guys are honoured!:D afterwhich went to find bad gerl to help her solve the rubik cube. must admit i had some problems at first as ive not touched the cube since JAE. but some things cant be forgotten that easily..
well some ramblings. there is a saying that we ought to do to others what we want others to do to us and not do what we do not want others to do to us. well its human nature to still do what we do not want others to do to us as this is not a perfect world. however i like to look at it from another angle. why do we do to others what we want them to do to us? is it because we want them to do the same back to us? sounds like nonsense but let me put i this way. sometimes why are we nice to others? is it because we want them to be nice to us?
but that is still not exactly what i am trying to say. because ultimately even if you are very nice to someone, its not a given that that someone would treat you the same way. the saying is supposed to make this a nicer better world. but i guess it only ends up with some being unfairly treated.. haha
anyway today zhi wei asked becky. whats the point of looking at some one if you know that would be as far as you can get? well becky agreed and said there is no point whether seriously or joking i dont know. but i didnt get a chance to say what i felt.
these are the reasons why even if looking is all you can get its not pointless to look:
1) to make sure the person is still there for you to look at
there may come a day even that privilege is gone.
2) to know that the person is happy
if you really care about someone, regardless of whether the person is with you or not you would always want that person to be happy
3) to make sure that that person is alright
self-explanatory, you wouldnt want anything to happen to that person would you?

anyway, thats all for today! goodnights!

well, we lost again today. but i walked off the court with a smile and my head high. why? because i knew that we were the better team today for most of the game. i know that some can only get past us by knocking us off the court and some have to rely on the 5th player on court to make decisions that will benefit them. this has indeed been one hell of a roller coaster season. from the first time i went for floorball training without much expectation or intention of staying. till the point of selection i never even expected to get into the team and it was more of a bonus kind of thing. then when i got into the team it was indeed a very nice feeling. however as time passed and the 'A' Division nationals drew closer and closer, i began to feel more and more part of the team. it became a team i was willing and wanted to give my best for. to give everything i got for. it became first priority above my studies and everything else. after we played against mjc it was the first time i cried because of losing a match. it meant so much, the loss. when we lost against yjc i cried even harder. this team and it winning meant so much to me. never have i felt this way about a team before. now that the season has come to and end, it leaves me with sort of a sad feeling. it leaves me wishing that this would not come to and end. i like to thank jack and charles for leading us through. sorry we werent able to win anything. thanks to coach melvin for coaching us despite not gaining anything from it. sorry that we werent able to win anything back for you. after this experience i have changed my mind about staying in floorball. i want to stay with the team and hope to bring something back next year! of course i will be as committed to hockey and will give my best for the team too. dont worry hengguang. haha. anw learnt something today. that is

my quote: 60 mins spent on 3 different things at once is always less effective than 20 mins on one of the three things at one time.

its very true come to think of it. in this society of multi tasking we often fail to slow down and ask oureselves if we can be more productive than we actually are. i think we can, if we just slow down and focus on one thing at a time, be it studies, hockey or floorball.

well thats it for today! need go do econs. zzz

i am tired of defeat. tired of losing. tired of never ending with a smile. tired of always being the last to cheer for the opponent. we totally lost the plot in our last match. was totally lost when from the first moment on the court up till the very last few minutes. but we proved that we could play beautiful one touch passing that which we should have finished off with better finishing. well they say that with every step of the way there are of always the positives and negatives to take away and learn from. thats the best positive i could find other then the one goal we scored. negatives, alot to take. asked why i did not cry? simply becuase there was nothing to cry about. there was nothing to be sorry about. we gave the match away. we only had ourselves to blame. therefore there was no need to cry. because i know that we could have given so much more. so much more. well tomorrow is the final day. will this be a repeat of hockey season? i wonder. but im praying that i walk away tomorrow with a smile on my face. knowing that all the preseason talk about our capabilites and hype of our ability would not be left at just that, talk. i hope that tomorrow we do show what innova floorball team is all about. that the real innova team will show itself. one that is capable of scoring and winning matches. i am sick now. maybe i will be sick also tomorrow. but God willing tomorrow on court i am going to run my heart out, defend my heart out and play my heart out.

As we go through life we'll see
There is so much that we
Don't understand.
And the only thing we know
Is things don't always go
The way we plan
But you'll see everyday
That will never turn away
When it seems all your dreams come undone
We will stand by your side filled with hope
And filled with pride
We are more than we are
We are one.

was reading one of my friend's blog today and saw this post
"For all sad words of tongue and pen,The saddest are these"It might have been."
guess these are word fitting for me recently and some of us. but what has happened has happened and can't be changed. we can only look to the future and hope to win back our pride by slaughtering our next two opponents. of which me are capable. i hope and pray we do. highest scoring team not to get into the semis!!:)

today i cried really alot after the match. for a long time during the match we were confident of taking the game. we were down 2-1 by the end of the 2nd period and the goal was scored by charles from line 2, charles xinkai hengguang and me. we had neutralised their best line line 1. at times we even outplayed them. as period 3 began we were all waiting for that magic moment to come. but then even before we had a chance to celebrate, i turned villain. sending a dangerous pass to hg which resulted in goal though the pass made it to him. IF ONLY... we scored with 3 mins left but the dream was destined to be dashed. we did not have enough to make it even 3-3 let alone 4-3. it felt like a really sick joke that was being played on us. like a terrible nightmare that i desperately wanted to wake up from. but alas, it was nothing but the truth. it was reality. as the reality sunk in, as we all shook our opponents hands, i could not help but wonder how different it all could have been. if i had managed to block that third goal, if i had gotten an earlier shot into the net, if one of jack's turn drag shots had whistled passed giant defenders to a top corner. but i would never find out now would i. the two word what if are simply fustrating. i had so badly wanted not to have that question staring at me today but my hopes had been reduced to less then a thread. as we when one round to hi five each other as is customary after each match, tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably. gradually increasing from tiny streams to torrents. i whole body shook. i looked up totally absolutely completely defeated and asked WHY?